Oh So Lonely...

...wherein I make broad generalizations about different cultures.

Greg Mankiw links to Sebastian Mallaby in the Washington Post who asks why are Americans so lonely?

The piece starts off by asking:

The question about loneliness is: Why do people do this to themselves? Why do Americans, who reported an average of nearly three close friends in 1985, now report an average of just over two? And why does one in four have nobody with whom to discuss personal issues? (emphasis mine)

I've been in the United States for five years, and at some point I want to either go back home or move to another country. And why would I want to do that, you ask? Well, there are a number of reasons, but one of the main reasons is that I miss the warmth and personal connection that American life seems to be devoid of. And just so that we're clear, I'm an introvert (INTP on the Myers-Briggs) and I LOVE solitude and time to myself . I've never been considered to be the life of a party (in fact, I hate parties) but at the same time, I need to occasionally gossip and catch-up with close friends. Or just have conversations on topics that interest me ( read = politics, finance/economics/business, current-affairs and other somnolent topics).

Establishing connections and having deep, satisfying, and meaningful conversations were very easy when I was in school. In fact, I naively assumed that life in America would parallel what I experienced in school. But, life outside school -- in the so-called real world (oh, how I hate that phrase) is altogether different. People seem to be hesitant to let you in their life and seem to be self-absorbed and more concerned with petty matters.

But as a visitor to America, one is instantly struck by just how friendly Americans are. In contrast, most Indians are fairly distant initially, but once we warm up there's no stopping our chit-chat. But the friendliness in America seems to be intensely superficial. At the end of it all, it's hard to make deep connections, and almost everyone seems to be self-absorbed and detached. Perhaps a better title for this post would have been "Why so detached?" The ostensible reason is that America is a mobile society and the superficial friendliness is to make folks comfortable. But that doesn't sound right...

Mallaby serves up the following reasons:

Meanwhile, people work more hours. They commute longer because they've moved to the exurbs in search of larger homes; they've got spacious entertainment rooms but no mental space for entertaining. And then there's the subtle effect of the culture. "Family time" is endlessly extolled, and lovers emit poetry and song about every facet of their relationships. But when was the last time a rock singer or a new man waxed lyrical about friendship?

Yet the biggest reason for American loneliness, and perhaps the clue to some kind of cure, lies in path dependency. People know that tending to friendship is important, but their behavior follows the path created by countless other decisions -- and friendship is neglected. Social science experiments reveal lots of behavior of this kind. People who agree with their doctors that they need hip replacements seldom get around to having the procedure.

An American traveling in India once wrote that "In India you're never alone, whereas in America you're always alone."

Now I realize that there are always exceptions to generalizations, but my German, Korean, Indian, and Chinese friends all express similar sentiments. Is this just another example of American exceptionalism or is it something that an "outsider" will never understand?

India Links:

Mahesh gives a damm. Linked from Uma.

Uma dissects this article about Mumbai and India from Time magazine much better than I could ever do.

Why are most articles about India filled with the standard cliches and "land of contrasts" BS? Not that we're not full of contrast, but try to analyze what that MEANS instead.

Here's a sample:

To recap: Samant isn't married, he makes booze and he chucked in a dream job in the U.S to come home. Old Mother India would have a cow.

Oh, the cow reference!! How terribly erudite, non?


Dog Day evenings at the Oval.
I miss my dog-day evenings at the Oval!

The best discussion on OBC reservations.

The Ten Principles of Economics by Greg Mankiw

Simplistic, but you get the idea.

Is an MBA worth it?

median2k9 links to a NYT article "Was earning that Harvard MBA really worth it?"

I've always maintained that the value of a MBA is in its signaling properties. Read the article if you're contemplating an MBA.

Why Men Won't Dance and Why Bond Villians employ Dwarves.

Check out these evolutionary theories (Link courtesy of Marginal Revolution).

Setting a monkey in intellectual combat with its banana.

Brad Delong quotes "Ezra" on the debate between Sebastian Mallaby and Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-Ala.)

UChicago moves up my list of preferred schools.

From Freakonomics:

The guy sitting in the chair next to me was reading a book the whole time he was having his hair cut.

As he left, I managed to catch the title: “Quantam Physics in America.”

Only in Hyde Park.

Uma calls it "a harmless enough piece", but I call it vile and despicable. And condescending.

Here's a particularly nasty bit:

It was the fear of real Indians (empahsis mine) that had made one mall in central Mumbai introduce a system of requiring visitors to show their credit cards to prove their purchasing power. But as such discriminating moves invited public scorn, malls were forced to lower all defences and take the trampling tours of India’s poor...


So journalistic excellence (TOI ishtyle) is to make fun of your fellow countrymen/women whose yearly income can't buy most of the products in a typical mall and come up with the descriptor "real Indians" to describe them. Swell.

And what's wrong with poking fun at high prices?

T minus 20

I scoped out my GMAT test center today. The building seemed a bit too cold for my liking so I'll be dressing in layers on G-day. I'm off to Cookeville, TN on work for the next two weeks, and I'll be spending all my down time on revising number properties etc.